In Memoriam of a Maplewood Boy

Danny Dahlquist grew up on Maplewood. He lived with his parents and six siblings north of Main Street on the blocks of the Avenue where the cool Arts and Crafts houses and the maple trees still stand.

It was a life of sports and school and church, and I’m sure, a lot of fun. Danny started his adult life on the Hilltop playing soccer at a place that he grew up with, that employed both his parents, that has fielded nationally ranked teams with players that went on to the pros.

As his obituary said in sweet, heart breaking, haunting lines: “Danny was a sophomore at Bradley University and was living his dream. He was where he wanted to be, being a Bradley soccer player.”

How many of us can say this of ourselves now? Of any time in our lives?

Dreams often seem the province of young people, those who haven’t become hardened by life’s difficulties or weighed down by its debts, those whose lives stretch out before them with a myriad of glorious possibilities. How wonderful that Danny was living his dreams.

Along with dreaming, risk taking is also often a feature of early adulthood. Several years ago, I was talking with some people from work about the risky behavior that young people engage in. I made the trenchant observation that many, many people were lucky to get out of their early twenties alive. A week or so later, the son of one of the women I was talking with died in an alcohol-related accident.

I have always hoped that my comment didn’t cause my friend extra pain.

In 1995, Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich addressed the subject of risks much more eloquently. She wrote about a 22-year-old man from Champaign-Urbana who was killed while running with the bulls in Spain.

She writes, “We all tell stories of the crazy things we did in our 20s, at least all of us do who were lucky enough to have done crazy things in our 20s and luckier yet to have survived them. From the safety of later adulthood, we reminisce fondly about the risks we took in those days, back when we were greedy for sensation and bold enough to seize it. . . The rides we took as hitchhikers. The rides we gave hitchhikers. The weird places we slept. The dangerous streets we walked alone. The strangers we accompanied to even stranger places. These are our purple hearts of foolish courage, our badges of experience, cherished souvenirs. We are proud of the reckless things we did at 20, 21, 22 even though at this age we would be too smart to do them, or maybe just too scared.”

I once read that one of the best ways to find the presence of someone who has gone on is by seeking him out in what was the best about him. In other words, if a person was friendly and welcoming, we will meet him when we act the same. Certainly Danny had a lot of virtues to emulate.

Danny’s family has their faith to help them deal with the loss of their boy who was living his dreams. It has to be a searing reality. But it isn’t complete. As smart as we are, the universe is still more filled with mysteries than explanations. A better place beckons all of us.

A place with great soccer fields.